100 days

2007-05-03T20:38:00.000-07:00

oh boy.. I'm really distracted today.

ISMAIL YASSIN MEETS FRANKENSTEIN (1953)!Obscure, Egyptian horror comedy in Arabic language is a laugh-out-loud remake of BUD ABBOTT AND LOU COSTELLO MEET FRANKENSTEIN (1948)!

and this is just for the love of mustache

2007-05-03T19:23:00.001-07:00

anti Sarko!

2007-05-03T17:16:00.000-07:00

2007-05-02T17:14:00.000-07:00

I'm not particularly a fan but these clips from shakira dancing in her Cairo and Dubai concerts are hot!

this video montage is hilarious

2007-05-01T08:20:00.001-07:00

2007-04-29T19:42:00.000-07:00

thunder

2007-04-23T20:50:00.000-07:00

fucking girls

2007-03-19T16:01:00.000-07:00

if another girl responds to me with defensive confidence proclaiming "But he's straight" when I say that some guy is good looking... I will issue my very own fatwa to install gaydar powered goggles on all women to help them see the gay potential of their boy friends, husbands, men at work and school and random "straight looking" guys who would probably suck cock if given the opportunity.
stop assuming that a guy must be a flaming queen for you (a girl) to notice he is gay or whatever.. no more naive thinking.. its not good for you!

black people. Brown people. Disfigured people. Gay men

2007-03-09T20:34:00.000-08:00

So hordes of idiots are going to the movies to see what is the new thing in film making called 300 and shit it is hilarious! I had to see it but geeeeez, it should have been a silent film. the visuals are pretty good and its even pretty to look at at times with hot bodies, blood and random enormous nipples all self-indulgently visualized in slow-motion. the writing is ridiculously bad, and the symbolism is just off on so many levels. its a collection of cliches left over from the 80s and 90s about east/west crap.. anyway, the persians are an empire led by (allah?) who just wants you to sell your soul and kneel, and has shisha and belly dancer filled lounges shock-full of lesbians (virgins or some sort of distorted paradise).. maybe this is a stretch on my part.. its pretty to watch the damn thing, but having seen it in a movie theater full of average americans (very low IQ) who clapped at the end, who knows how they read this movie! Persians, brown and black people, TAKE COVER! you might be a target.

here is what someone said and i think its clear enough:

Here are just a few of the categories that are not-so-vaguely conflated with the "bad" (i.e., Persian) side in the movie: black people. Brown people. Disfigured people. Gay men (not gay in the buff, homoerotic Spartan fashion, but in the effeminate Persian style). Lesbians. Disfigured lesbians. Ten-foot-tall giants with filed teeth and lobster claws. Elephants and rhinos (filthy creatures both). The Persian commander, the god-king Xerxes (Rodrigo Santoro) is a towering, bald club fag with facial piercings, kohl-rimmed eyes, and a disturbing predilection for making people kneel before him.

Meanwhile, the Spartans, clad in naught but leather man-briefs, fight under the stern command of Leonidas (Gerard Butler), whose warrior ethic was forged during a childhood spent fighting wolves in the snow. Leonidas likes to rally the troops with bellowed speeches about "freedom," "honor," and "glory," promising that they will be remembered for having created "a world free from mysticism and tyranny." (The men's usual response, a fist-pumping "A-whoo! A-whoo!" sounds strangely fratty.) But Leonidas is not above playing the tyrant himself. When a messenger from Xerxes arrives bearing news Leonidas doesn't like, he hurls the man, against all protocol, down a convenient bottomless well in the center of town. "This is blasphemy! This is madness!" says the messenger, pleading for his life. "This is Sparta," Leonidas replies.

I am worried

2007-02-28T18:32:00.000-08:00

This story worries me. I will be in Dahab in the summer for a couple of weeks diving, then I wanted to go go to Aqaba, Taba and then enter Israel to visit a couple of friends and tour for a couple of weeks. But this guy's profile (creepily similar to mine) who i am sure is no spy what-so-ever is in trouble and his Canadian passport isn't really helpful right now. hmmm...

from BBCnews.com

'Mossad' trial resumes in Cairo
Mohammed al-Attar
The defendant proclaimed his innocence to reporters in court
The trial has resumed in Cairo of an Egyptian accused of spying for Israel.

Defendant Mohammed al-Attar, who has dual Canadian citizenship, denies charges of being a Mossad agent.

The 31-year-old says a confession he made was extracted under torture by Egypt's intelligence services and has asked the Canadian government for help.

Three Israelis also accused are being tried in their absence. The trial began on Saturday but was adjourned when Mr Attar's court-appointed lawyer quit.

"I call on the Canadian government to give me a lawyer and to prove my innocence," Mr Attar told reporters clustered around his cage before proceedings began.

"My confession was under torture," he added.

A former student at Cairo's al-Azhar university, Mr Attar is accused of contacting Israeli agents in Turkey and spying on expatriate Arabs there and in Canada.

Denial

A transcript of his confession seen by a Canadian newspaper said he had recruited gay or impoverished Arabs in Canada for Mossad, the Israeli foreign intelligence branch.

Mr Attar denies being homosexual, although it was cited as a reason for an application he made for refugee status with the United Nations.

Israeli officials say the Israeli authorities have only learned about the case from the media.

Human rights groups say torture, including sexual abuse, is routinely used by the Egyptian security services during interrogation of prisoners.

The government denies systematic abuse, but has investigated a number of high profile torture cases.

Egyptian cowboys

2007-02-26T23:38:00.000-08:00

deep in the countryside of the delta, you find wonders.. I love this shit, I wish you can understand what this guy is saying, It is hilarious and dirrrrty!!!

2007-02-23T19:11:00.000-08:00

I love this guy!! my favorite egyptian male belly dancer EVVVVER!

week in review

2007-02-22T23:14:00.000-08:00

first I want to start by sending a big fat FUCK YOU to al-azhar for causing an intelligent 22 year old go to prison for 4 years just for being critical!

"Abdel Kareem Soliman's trial was the first time that a blogger had been prosecuted in Egypt.

He had used his web log to criticise the country's top Islamic institution, al-Azhar university and President Hosni Mubarak, whom he called a dictator."

On an inappropriatly different note, this week was unexpectedly shock-full-of-party! my weekend in New York extended until Thursday! Chinese New Year, Mr. Black, NYU, Townhouse !! hilarious experience! I met the editor of a big new york news paper that will remain nameless who had asked me to go to dinner with him then opera the following night! danced my ass off at Mr. Black on sunday which was only backup since Hero had a line too long to stand in, but turned out way better.. Met with Andres from Madrid, was a slightly awkward reunion.. oh and those two guys Caroline and I met in a random gay bar in Osaka, they turned up too and one of them was a freak, apparently obsessed with gogo dancers at Mr. Black who turned out to be like 18! speaking of gogo dancers, Erik was getting raunchy with a hot one at Urge at like 3 in the morning, they both seemed to love it, i was just watching. after a couple of those huge margaritas from foodbar with kevin and erik.. oh my god, and that random persian boy at 4 in the morning who was like see you in the bathroom downstairs before I even know your name.. and who was that christopher erik introduced me, they are dating, but we meet, go to dinner, drinks, then take a cab ride back to bed.. all three.. thats just uncalled for. I need to get it together and get some work done or else!

2007-02-16T16:38:00.000-08:00

Kaaboul!!!

2007-02-15T08:02:00.000-08:00

Kaaboul épisode 2
Uploaded by rouisk

2007-02-12T09:26:00.000-08:00

flashback 1991

2007-02-11T11:46:00.000-08:00

diaper included

2007-02-06T15:08:00.000-08:00

bumpy road

2007-02-02T23:16:00.000-08:00

the bumpy road to Siem Reap. its bumpy.

recollections

2007-02-01T22:50:00.000-08:00

2007-02-01T22:47:00.000-08:00

it was raining while we were on Ko Tao but the day we were leaving, the weather was perfect.

Nippon - incomplete report

2007-02-01T18:16:00.000-08:00

already back, its difficult to think back even just as far back as two days since the actual travel ended. coming home always feels the same, it makes what happened abroad seem unreal, which in retrospect, it usually is.
japan is ... hard to explain I guess.. we did it the right way by going direct to Kyoto then Osaka then Tokyo, making it from a smaller less hectic city to a medium one then a bigger one. biggest surprise in japan was the food: SOOO GOOOOOOD!! and nothing really like what we think of here as Japanese food, as a matter of fact we had to look for sushi, Japanese food happens to be far more exciting and tasty than what we think of it here. Other surprise: Japanese people are sooo nice!!! and down to earth!!! I didn't really expect that to be honest. What wasn't a surprise is that standard of living is very high, these people are generally very privileged. the cheapest coffee is starbucks and there is a very high volume of dior and chanel clothes worn by seemingly normal people. despite the high high standard in dressing and eating, people are so nice. this only brings to mind how things in the states re very very different. it maybe possible to find gourmet supermarkets like dean & deluca to find something close to what is totally standard in Japan but once you step into a dean & deluca it suddenly feels oppressively elitist. at the same time you get people who act snobbish for shopping at whole foods (very sad, if only they knew what is available out there in places like japan) but there are those who think that sporting a starbucks coffee cup is a status symbol (again the cheapest coffee besides Macdonald's coffee in japan) and finally those who justify acting like total bitches because they shop at banana republic or some shit like that (hilarious) THANK GOD, BUDDHA AND ALLAH that people in japan are just better, and these things don't get to them.

However, they are not perfect either. obsession with living their roles as consumers is a bit too much for me to handle. girls go way over board in their 'baby doll' image. they actually have eye-widening surgeries, etc...

Hokuoukan business inn + sauna

2007-01-27T00:53:00.000-08:00

just a quick one using the free internet at the apple store in osaka, holy rape! last night I experienced a japanese "business inn and sauna" and it was a great learning experience.
after a few hours of bar hopping with caroline at about 2:30 am I checked into the infamous business inn + sauna which is very very near our hotel which is very central in Osaka. the facility is 24/7 and is actually very fancy. admission is based on age so I only payed ¥1700 which includes an overnight stay since it was after midnight. aparently men go there when they miss the last train out of Osaka and need a place to stay. They can bathe and play with each other or just take a nap or sleep. Obviously others just go there to play. I went to sightsee! and I am glad I did, besides seeing I did some participating which was very interesting and almost fulfilled my japanese desires.

I think its obvious that I am just using the free internet here and not really buying a laptop so this story will have to be continued later.

from one bed to Ko Chang to another in Kyoto

2007-01-23T00:56:00.000-08:00

crazy transition and trip. Ko Chang is incredible, my favorite place in Thailand, my favorite beach in the world, I miss it. I met a very nice guy, Alex, and we even shared a bungalow my last two days. BUT, thats another story to tell. Now, I have a couple of minute to write about the trip from a remote beach on a remote island to downtown Japaneses style hotel all in one travel sequence! which took 30 hours!!!

last two nights in Ko Chang I had almost no sleep and on the morning of the 21st I got out of bed ( I wasn't sleeping) at 6 am to walk in pitch black darkness on the beach to the opposite end of the beach to wake Caroline up in her bungalow. I walked back, packed, said good bye to a very special new friend and walked back to meet Caroline, take a taxi (which is a pick up truck where you sit in the back on either side) to the pier where we sat on the roof of a boat to take us to main land, then wait for a bus to take us to Bangkok, we get off on the high way 7 hours later, take a taxi to the airport, wait for a few hours for our flight, fly at midnight to Tokyo, take the Narita express from airport to tokyo station, only have 10 minutes to find our platform for the Shenkensen bullet train to Kyoto, take a bus from the station to our Ryoken (traditional Japanese Hotel) and finally we have a bed.
You can't make this shit up!
the super fast train from Tokyo to Kyoto is only 2.5 hours, otherwise an 8 hour bus ride! our plane landed at 7:30 am and we were in Kyoto by noon! what a transition, from being hot, naked on the beach, where nothing is on time one day to being cold, dressed in multiple layers in a super clean super fashionable place the next day. words do no justice to this transition, it must be experienced. my mind is fucked. I love this place and that place.

Paradise

2007-01-15T02:32:00.000-08:00

Transport

2007-01-15T02:29:00.000-08:00

Smokes

2007-01-15T02:16:00.000-08:00

In Ko Tao, an island with very little village and alot of woods, and remote bungalows, I went to Amsterdam Coffee Shop, a place I was told about by this Italian guy I met in Chiang Mai. I found it at the end of the strip of shops near the piers, its on the roof of a dodgy empty building and like its name suggests you go there for grass.
I climbed the steps to find the bar with two guys sitting their and the bartender, I asked discreetly if I can buy grass and I was told "yea but you have to stay for a drink" so I do. I sit down on a stool and look over next to me to find a big gun (loaded with more amu sitting next to it) WOW! what am I doing? I get a beer, chug it so I can leave as soon as possible then get two joints one to smoke there and another to go. by this time the sun went down and it was totally dark. luckily I had my flashlight so I had to make my way back to our bungalow one kilometer away but walking through dense jungle and a loosely defined path, I am high and freakig out from the gun that was next to my elbow. What an experience that was, Somehow I found my way, although I got lost for a moment..
the following night I went for some more, I bought a couple of joints and we smoked at the Banana Rock Bar right next to our bungalow built over the water in a little bay, it was great, Caroline, Rob, this french woman, two sweeds we sad on and relaxed and smoked.
That was the begining, in Cambodia things were much easier since one gets bombarded with offers to buy smokes as one walks down the street especially in Phnom Penn, also Happy Pizza is available at almost any pizza shop and there are alot of them. I do not recommend happy pizza, although it sounded cool, it can be lethal, if you have too much It fucks with your stomach and you stays in your system forever, plus we don't know whats really in it.

Cafe'terior

2007-01-15T02:05:00.000-08:00

during our one night in Bankok before leaving for Cambodia we stayed away from Khao San (the tourist, backpacker street) and headed out to get lost in the city. We were pleased to find a couple of really nice, well designed, great atmosphere places. one was a cafe/bar near the river on a quiet street across from the old royal palace in a converted early twentieth century mediteranean inspired building. the building itself was repeated many times over this area copied here and there. the interior of the cafe was well balanced and simple, good selection of color, second hand furniture and simple touches of paint made it what it was. we continued walking and found another sweet little spot. it looked closed but we found out that they were about to open, its a bar/interior design office! what a great idea, its my fantacy. The guy who rents the building (all three stories, living on top, office on second and bar/cafe on the first) invited us in and welcomed us with cold Chang beers and a joint. we hung out there all night, it was the best meeting of local Thais we have had. the guy was going on and on about how he sees something in me that is special, etc etc, I liked the talk (why should I not when someone is spending so much time flatering me) but I wasn't sure where it was going.

Mohamed Au Cambodge

2007-01-15T01:06:00.000-08:00

O Cambodia, I guess It was a place I wanted to come to but never thought it would happen this quickly, soon and this easy? I shouldn't say easy, because it aint. traveling in this part of the world still feels like an adventure for the most part, there is constantly the illusion of discovery, like you are the first one to take this road to see this place, but in reality thousands of people do it. also, the type of people that come here and travel here are totally diffirent.. thats for another blog, BUT back to Cambodia, it felt like a total adventure getting there.

We opted for the land route from Bangkok to Siem Reap a 12-14 hour trip with half of it over an internationally renouned road, known for being in the worst condition possible, making for a super bumpy ride. The notourious road is supposadly left unrepaired because Bangkok Airways pays the a powerful Cambodian politician to stop the road from being fixed, forcing most tourists aiming for Siem Reap to fly with their airline since they monopolise the route. for the exception of morning traffic, our ride from our hotel to the Thai/Cambodia border was fine. then we were taken to a strange little resturant/rest stop near the border where our passports were collected and we each payed 1300 Baht (almost double the $20 visa cost) this ofcourse is seen as a service to avoid us any hassle as the border itself. after a lunch (rice) and getting to know some of the other riders (Merv: a professional Rugby player English, Nick: a professional poker player New Zealander, Britton: a student/social servant/teacher who has been living in Nepal for a month and is now traveling / lied about being married to avoid being hasseled by men (althought I don't see why anyone would turn Merv away from their bed) Canadian) we then proceeded to the actual border.

chaos broke infront of my eyes as we cross the border from the Thai side to the Cambodian side. Caroline never filled her departure card for Thailand which delayed us for a few moments but soon the begging children of cambodia attacked. as we enter through a gate decorated in faux khemer style a large billboard to the side has a picture of two cambodian children with a mark above their image that reads "NOT FOR SALE" it was all a bit strange. and the adventure really began. we were at the mercy of the fuckers who are supposed to get us to Siem Reap, so whatever they say we have to do we do it, its the only way to make it. we were told to switch from one bus to another about three times in the course of 25 minutes. then we were taken to a "Money Exchange" where we were told is our only opportunity to change money while in Cambodia. The "Exchange" was a portable vetrine glass box with money stacked inside, complete with umbrella to protect the worker from sun, it was set up on a dodgy corner, it was all so shady and suspicious, but as horde culture works, as soon as one person went to change their money, another followed and then another.. It didn't feel right to me so I only changed a little bit, less than half of what most people changed. Later it was evident that we lost about 10 dollars per 1000 Baht, which is alot of money.

All this and the actually bumpy road hasn't really started, now we were on our way for a really wild ride, leaving your brain turn into a jelly substance by the end of the trip. we saw poverty at its worst on this road, it was a complete apocolyptic scene, burned fields, shacks overcrowded with families, people bathing and fishing in seemingly toxic water, it was very sad. we stop again midway at yet another rest stop then proceed in the dark for the last leg of the trip. its all part of the plan. as lonely planet explains, the bus belongs to a particular guesthouse and thus they try to delay your arrival so that you are completely beat up by the road and are so tiered that you would simply choose to sleep in their mediocre guesthouse. surely enough, as we approach Siem Reap and particularly as we pass the airport, the bumpy road is suddenly velvet, well lit with nothing but oversized five star hotels catering to the high end travelers coming to Siem Reap to see the world's largest religious building. After passing the strip of out-of-context hotels our bus took us to their guesthouse, but we (Merv, Nick, Brit, Caroline and I) chose to leave with a tuk tuk to Popular Guesthouse.

Everything we have seen within the Cambodian border suddenly was met by a complete opposite, this city has money thanks to its tourism and Bar Street had some very nicely designed cafes, resturants and bars that would fit just fine in New Orleans or Miami. The begging children are ubiquitous non-the-less speaking perfect english, french and japanese as young as 6 trained to sell you whatever they have at any cost, so they will not leave you alone until you buy something, then they leave you for two minutes and return again. The children are definetly a staple theme of this country, they are gorgous with the cutests smiles, smart and acting like adults at such a young age, I can't blame Angelina for taking one home. The Tomb Raider is a cocktail drink at most bars, she really has a legacy here.

We went to The Red Piano then Angkor What! and drank and danced in celebration of not being sold into white slavery and surviving the 13 hour road from Bangkok to Siem Reap. the next morning we go to the floating village (a display of poverty and governemnt corruption) and the LandMine Museum, the best display of a story and the relevant objects I have yet to see anywhere, it was very effective.

Day three begins with an early wakeup call at 5 am to go watch the sun rise over Angkor Wat, our tuk tuk drivers picked us up and on the cold ride to the temple we realised that there are many others like us (no romantic fantacy of being alone infront of the temple with the sun rising behind it) it was clear that there will be a couple of hundred or thousand people there doing the same thing. we spent the day temple viewing and headed back exhasted after being out for nearly 10 hours. skipping alot of detail, but for my own records: I was walking along multiple stands selling shirts and souvunirs when I suddenly stopped and looked to my left and said "Is that Tin Tin" and it was! I found this random tintin t-shirt, there was only one. the night before we were having our first Happy Pizza, a Cambodian specialty pizza that is made with grass, I was talling my travel friends about my love to collect tintin items. very amusing.

By now I am totally infatuated with Captin Rugby, I began to withdraw because I was confronted with the feeling that I have no chance, something I refuse to believe is usually the case, its much easier to say No than to be said No to. So my last two days in Cambodia and the one day in Phnom Penn was overcast with my feelings of insecurity and my lust over this fantacy.

2007-01-15T00:54:00.000-08:00

I like to travel. Go places, meet people, do things I could not do, deal with things I could have never imagined, eat things I never new, wear things I've never seen, be closer to strangers after a drink and short conversation than with people I live and work with for months, have experiences that shape me and bring out diffirent sides of me, bring on new phases of my life, I like it. How can I experience all this and still be the same.

3 men, and traveling with a girl friend

2007-01-14T22:47:00.000-08:00

still not feeling so good today, it could be so many things that caused my nausea: too much alcohol, too much grass, too spicy something, malaria medication has side effects, I had a cut when I got my beard shaved at an old-school barber in Siem Reap Cambodia a couple of days ago, It could be any of the above that caused me not to feel so good. BUT, now and for the first time in a few weeks I have a couple of hours to kill and good internet access and am listening to a new Smashing Pumpkins studio recording (which fixed me right up, I can't stop smiling) so brace yourself for a long blog about whatever comes to mind from the past couple of weeks.

I met one man who embodies every projection I have had of what masculinity should be and would it looks like. Siry was his name, a French engineer working for shell and living in one of the french islands in the indian ocean off the coast of africa. very special. I first noticed him and his two travel companions in Sukhothai, then when we were in Chiang Mai we did a Thai Cooking Course and he happens to be there! I was pleased to see him, I was just watching closely every move, and my god he couldn't have said or done anything wrong, it was simply too perfect. the most attractive thing about him is that he is shy and humble, that is a hard quality to have when one is that good looking!

Then there was this guy Rob we met in Ko Tao, he had the bungalow next to ours on the beach. well this guy is like what a perfect boyfriend would be (if i was interested in such a relationship, and precedent proves that I am not too keen on that, since it usually means alot of compromise) BUT with this guy, he was so chilled out, relaxed, comfortable in his own skin that we were talking I just thought to myself, he would be "the boyfriend"..

later I met Merv, a professional Rugby player, English, and I pictured him stretching his muscles on a teak bed under a mosqito net.. It was a bit like a high school crush, also made me wish I was traveling alone, which makes it much easier to meet other single travelers, share a room, do whatever..

this last meeting brought out some old insecurities I haven't had to deal with in a long time. male companionship has been a tricky business for me as far back as I can remember.. it gets complicated and I already ran through it in my head a couple of days ago (If I was at a computer I would have put it to words, but now that I don;t have the same feelings its pointless to try to recount how I was feeling) but in short, when I feel an attraction to a guy it is very difficult for me to be around that person. and so inturns, I end up distancing myself from the person I wish to be close to... its actually sad.

More about traveling with a freind (especially a female friend) its such a cock-block / pain in the ass: everybody assumes we are a couple, and so people treat us as such, so a guy would ask me if Caroline is my girlfriend and I say no we are just friends, its still akward, what do we do now? I am still with someone, and the same works the other way, except caroline seems to have less of a problem having a little too much fun when I am just there watching (Full moon party) but generally she has well behaved. its been tricky for me to really let go and have the experience that I would have had if I was alone, because I do feel some responsibility to watch out for caroline and being a control freak like myself doesn't make that as easy of a task as it can be.

is your pizza fucking good?

2007-01-14T02:02:00.000-08:00

at the moment, sitting in an internet point in the capital of cambodia, feeling a little sick from my happy pizza. we had our first in Siam Reap and it was excellent, a well made pizza with whatever toppings with the addition of a healthy layer of Lao grass. Here in our guesthouse the happy pizza didn't make me as happy.

I have been acting strangely for the past few days, a bit unlike myself, because of being in close proximity to someone I find to be very attractive but seemingly out of reach, a familiar situation, but its been a while since the last time I felt this way. His eyes, his smile, body, sense of humor just bring out all the pussy in me way to the surface, he also has a big heart judging by how he plays with little cambodian children.

feeling a defeated I leave Cambodia today on a flight back to Bangkok then a short ride to Pattaya, some sort of sex hedonism capital, we will stay one night to watch then move on to Ko Chang and probably stay there until its time to fly to Tokyo.
So much to tell from the last two weeks, very little time to tell anything, alot is just hazy and forgotten already.

the road to the killing fields?

2007-01-09T15:36:00.000-08:00

we spent exactly 24 hours in Bangkok after a long journey back by long tail boat+catamaran speed boat+bus from our little beach in Ko Tao to Bangkok totalling about 12 hours including a stop in dodgy "farang" hangout spot... now we leave for cambodia, the road is ruff and we leave now as our pick up is here.. there is much to be posted about. hopefully the border doesn't involve much hassle, its enough that the road within the cambodian border to Siem Reap is pretty "bumpy"...

trouble in paradise + Cryons are one of Caroline's island necessities

2007-01-06T03:39:00.000-08:00

I have to be brief. We are in Ko Tao (I don't have my camera to load pictures but I am sure Google image would be useful in finding what this place looks like), small tropical island in the gulf of thailand, arrived yesturday on a speed boat from Ko Samui where we spent 4 days including a night at the Full moon Party in Ko Pang Gnan. Here we are staying in a rustic bungelow 3 meters away from the water on a rocky hillside. there are 30 bungelows scattered around the area with a small private beach and a resturant/reception in the middle of the site. The only way to get here is by long tail boat. To get to this internet shop I had to hike one kilometer on a loosly marked path through the jungle. Its been raining on and off all day which is nice to experience tropical mansoon rains I guess. anyway, the trouble in paradise is that on the night of Full Moon Party, I lost caroline after we had an mini argument about her party behavior. I spend the rest of the night looking for her amid the 12000 or so party goers with no luck. I wont talk about the actual party for now, but the point is, she was lost, or so I thought and I was looking .. that sounds like trouble to me.
Now here in Ko Tao, Caroline decided to go back to the port area to look for color paint or cryons to color her collection of corals she managed to gather from the beach. Its just funny to me that should even want to go buy cryons on an island where we only get 4 hours of electricity at night, have no real roads, where people mainly come for diving, Or as I like to describe it to be on the end of civilization. I was surprised but she claims to have found some.

only (lonley) children

2006-12-28T08:46:00.000-08:00

our trekking experience made us realize how well we get along with complete strangers.. analyzing this over another rice lunch I figured that our sociability has everything to do with growing up with siblings.. Caroline has 3 and I have 2. Also alot of love doesn't hurt. I just find it difficult to remember one only-child that I have met in all my life that wasn't awkward, socially challenged, insecure or had trouble being alone once an adult.. I shouldn't generalize, I am sure there are OK only-children out there and not so OK children with siblings, but for sure there is a trend here. I do feel bad for an only child, its lonely and does no good to an adult who can't be alone, needs constant attention and reminders of how important and great they are just because thats what they were told or even not when they were kids... its mental.

Trekking adventure

2006-12-28T07:44:00.000-08:00

without much detail (I leave that for Caroline to elaborate in 49daze.blogspot.com) our trekking adventure was great. we returned to the city today after spending two days and a night in the woods doing woods-type-things. My favorite was bamboo rafting today, beats Great Adventure and Disneyland a million times. Riding the elephant was not my favorite part... it just seems wrong. We met some interesting people and one annoying british bitch. Oh and my other favorite part was taking a shower in a waterfall (freezing mind you).
there was a couple from Holland, a couple from Australia, a couple from California, and a few others including a girl from ohio and this very talkative British woman and her very quiet anonymous husband. There was also this older British man (whose presence confused me at first, then we thought maybe he is dying and this is one of the things on his list of things to do before he dies.. I don't know).
Before I forget, that British woman was so chewing my ear on our way back telling me about civilized this and chaotic that.. obviously she had issues but why do I have to listen to this garbage. plus if civilized to you means downtown Geneva then why the fuck are you going to Cairo and Bangkok? just to complain about how chaotic and uncivilized people there are.. fucking looser, limited! what a prude. she was complaining about some water getting on her pants when we were rafting so I said "it wasn't even that cold, you should have felt the waterfall water we showered in this morning, that was really cold," she responds "I put my hand in water 300 meters away from a glaicer, I know cold water." gees, what is this a competition.. reminded me of this other bitch I have the displeasure of going to school with.

On another note: last night I was uncomfortably close to a sexual encounter between our Thai group leader and one of the girls on the Trek. lets just say we were all sleeping together next to the fire (its freezing at night) when the girl starts giving the guide a hand job or something.. thank god he came quick. hahaha, it was just strange.. but it got wierder when a couple of hours later that same girl was spooning with me.. I had no interest what-so-ever, however, male physiology does wonders when one is sleeping, and I didn't want her to confuse a distended state of an organ for a sign of interest plus she just gave another man a handjob or something pretty much infront of me, so I turned my back towards her and move a few inches to express my disintrest. wierd. this whole situation may or maynot have to do with the amount of whisky I consumed around the camp fire.

Forth sex

2006-12-28T07:16:00.000-08:00

I was having coffee across the street from the yoga studio the other day and I grabbed a random book off the shelf and I think it was called Third Sex about 'ladyboys' in Thailand. So traditionally in this region and especially Thailand there are not only two sexes (male, female) but FOUR!! (male, female, male-becoming-female and female-becoming-male) these do not involve physical alteration and are culturally accepted and recognized sexes with ancient histories. A male-becoming-female is a person born physically as male but who lives and feels as though he is female and fully adopts a female life loving males. A female-becoming-male is the exact opposite. This has nothing to do with homosexuality which is still looking down upon as it is traditionally seen as odd for male-male love but male-becoming-female loving a male is normal. I know it sounds complicated for a western mind, which is very rigid when it comes to sexual roles BUT you gotta appreciate this option of a third and a forth sex!! These sexes are also accepted by Buddhism as they are understood as having to do with one's reincarnation..
When we were in Sukhothai we met two male-becoming-females, one of whom is an artist painting traditional icons and selling them near by one of the major Buddha images. I wonder if its OK for two male-becoming-females to love each other or is that another twist to homo-relations since they are the same? Not sure.. Fascinating shit though!

Thai Standards of Beauty

2006-12-28T06:55:00.000-08:00

Watching TV and seeing adverts everywhere in streets and in magazines in Thailand I find a different kind of Thai than most of the people I have actually seen on the streets. On TV and in Ads, Thais are very white, "typically" Asian-looking, and not exactly special in appearance. On the street I have seen such beautiful people, dark skin, beautiful eyes and features, women with sharp looks and men with strong hands. I feel like there is a beauty standard here that is sought by the entertainment and advertising business which is totally disconnected from the majority of people on the streets whom I find to be far more beautiful. Its like in the US, where there is an image of "the American" that is used in entertainment that is a bit misleading (as if everyone in the country is blond, in perfect shape and had perfect hair all the time) thats what the poor people in the "developing world" get to see.. besides Fear Factor I guess. The truth on the American streets is obviously much uglier.
There is alot of diversity in people in this region of Thailand. So many different kinds of Thais from different backgrounds and origins from all over asia have made their way here and formed their own unique cultures and distictive physical appearances.

on a related topic, I have seen guys with the best haircuts I have seen anywhere I have been. Totally naturally cool! no pretentions. alot of the guys here look like what every hipster and indie-rock boy in New Jersey would pay fortunes at Hot Topic in his local mall to look like. I just wanted to add that note about style.. I dig what I see here... all the way!

life in Chiang Mai

2006-12-26T06:09:00.000-08:00

I love this city. Again I find myself enjoying easy life with not-so-complicated people, away from jelousy, envy, pity, just to name a few of what one faces on a daily basis in Cambridge. I just slip on my comfortable pants, go for a walk, sit in a cafe, have a well-made cup of coffee, meet some clear-minded people, some here for a while, some have moved here, some are just passing-by like myself. There are alot of writers here, seems like a good place to come and stay for a while during the process of writing a book. A few Italian writers, a few French and even a couple of Americans are roaming the internet cafes editing their transcripts. There is a street with a few bars, cafes and resturaunts with various writer-related themes: The Library, Ink, and Writers Cafe are just a few.
Got up at about 8 today, Caroline went for her morning run while I slept some more, then we moved to another guesthouse that we found yesturday, its brand new and gorgous and cheap too.. since we are here until the first of Jan we though we might as well move to an excellent place and enjoy it.
I went for a walk in the morning, alone, to enjoy the plathura of cafes, had breakfast at this french-diner-looking place, yummy omlette suffed with an onion/tomato mix served with the yummiest multi-grain bread and coffee all for 85 Baht, that comes to about $2.50, AWSOME!! I was missing some American-style breakfast. After my walk, met up with Caroline and we took a tuk-tuk to visit this amazing temple outside the city, set in the forest with these underground tunnels for meditation, I met another totally hot young monk, I just find it to be so hot to meet all these atractive, young, monks.. they are very shy and not very talkative even if they speak english.. but I must say, a few of them got me interested! total fantasy right now.

We had Yoga practice today at 5, it was really crowded but very nice, I just love the people that go to our yoga studio (called Yoga Studio), the instructor today was new but good. can't go tomorrow because we are leaving in the morning for a two day+one night trip out in the "jungle": water-rafting, elephant riding, mountain hiking, village sleeping.. its gonna be awsome!

after a meal in a popular local eatery, I thought I'd come blog the day.

Oh yea, how can I forget, Last night we went for a walk across the moat (Chiang Mai is a perfect square in plan with a moat all around) towards the Night Market and oh boy we passed a few interesting bars with lots of horney, usually ugly white men with their Thai girlfriends, it was bizarre watching the chemistry! took a few peeping-tom photos to document the strange phenomenon.

Thailand on Christ+mas

2006-12-24T23:39:00.000-08:00

its Christmas and next week is Eid and new year.. its awsome being here during this time of year.. I love the type of tourists and expats that are here. there were three kids from the US singing christmas songs last night at the weekend night market, it was, interesting. We moved to a new guesthouse today where we have a split level room, I got the upstairs and Caroline downstairs.. its a really lively place with lots of fun people.. met two french guys there, very nice, they are here learning oil massage for a few weeks.. maybe I'll ask for a free trial run..

the way to Chiang Mai

2006-12-23T23:18:00.000-08:00

its Christmas eve in Chiang Mai, about 2:20 in the afternoon. I'm about to go to Wat Suan Dok (a temple and monastery) where I am spending the night with monks, mediation will be the only activity.
Last night, we arrived after a 5 hour bus ride from Sukuthai (birthplace of Thai civilization/culture) and we found a bustling night market on a street a couple of blocks away from our hotel. lots and lots of shopping, the best fabrics, thai pants and scarves I've seen.
Sukuthai is my favorite town so far.. it has the most beautiful historical park with a mix of palms and pines and lilly flowers in ponds with temples and buddhas sprinkling the landscape. I headed out with my motor bike yesturday on a ride around the countryside after I dropped Caroline off at a Thai Massage hut where she spent most of the day learning the nessesary skills. It was gorgous out. we have been hanging out in with a german couple and an 18-year-old israeli guy and a dutch girl we met on the bus there.. the town is small enough that you run into the few tourists there all the time. The Coffee Cup is a cafe around the corner from our Old City Guesthouse where they served some amazing food. Food has been a theme on this trip, lots of eating, I love thai food. I had a red curry dish my first night in Sukothai that makes my mouth water when I think about it. the street food there was the best. that town had an incredible market with cheap yummy eats.. so much to say about the food (the good, and the bizarre)...
before Sukothai we were in Lop Buri, a town overtaken by monkeys who have lost any fear of humans.. it was great, strange, had a few funny incidents that Caroline will elaborate upon in our Thailand trip blg (www.49daze.blogspot.com) including getting in the back of a pick-up truck then going into a panic because we thought we were being kidnapped.
LopBuri was after Ayyutaya were the conference closing dinner was. we stayed there the night and spent the following day on bikes checking out the historical park shock full of temples and more temples.
its hard for me to have as much of a spiritual experience as usually happens when I travel alone because I am with caroline and we are always talking and laughing but its a different experience, I like it as well.. I just wish I can remember all the details.
just a quick note on architecture.. there is very little architecture in the traditional sense.. as in clearly defined plots with buildings set on foundations with some sort of regulatory structure.. most of what is built along the roads and in the smaller villages are hap-hazord wood and aluminum sheet structures, some of them are well-done and some are just frightening. most of the houses are on stilts. the aesthetics are entertaining with plenty of exaggurated columns and collaged facades. the ancient architecture is .. difficult to grasp. almost all of it is mass-oriented, more like sculpture with almost never any habitable space. they are like objects in fields, massive brick structures with a smooth skin. to my surprise most of it is not that old, the majority has been 400-500 years old however they look like they are prehistoric because of their primitive forms, and the serious damaged condition they suffer. there is something really beautiful about their age appearance but I have yet to be impressed. the buddha images almost always have no heads, and a buddha image is still holy even if all that is left is its lap.

I have to go pick up our plane tickets to Ko Samui (island in the south), we fly there on the first so we can attend the first Full Moon Party of 2007 on Jan 3rd.
exciting stuff!!!

From Chiang Mai with love.
49daze.blogspot.com

Hello from Bangkok where hairy pies are everywhere

2006-12-18T00:22:00.000-08:00

Its Monday here and probably still sunday in the USA... this city is cracking me up!!
Caroline and I arrived on Sunday in the crazy oversized brand new Bangkok airport after 23 hours in the air plus 2 hours layover in Tokyo. We had arranged for a limo to pick us up and it was awsome! our hotel where the IASTE conference is taking place is pretty .. ummm.. hyperrealistic. from our 19th floor room where we have an entire wall of glass overlooking the city, the view is impressive. low market-style blocks with bars and pool halls mixed with tall tall high rise blocks. almost everyone is wearing yellow shirts. lots of sex tourists (almost all white americans, irish and australians).. and lots of "hairy pies" to serve them.

we leeeave tonight with the conference to Ayutayya where there is a closing ceremony of sorts and then we stay there and begin our own journey.. caroline and I are starting a new blog dedicated to this trip but I will keep posting on hereee once in a while. oh my god this is just exciting stuff, let me tell ya!

from bangkok with love.

god is god

2006-12-02T22:08:00.000-08:00

seriously, god is god.. I just shared a spiritual experience on the bus from ny to boston with saima.. i usually don't meet people like that in the states but my god it was a sweet heavinly little meeting..I think i have two new special friends..
the whole thing makes me think of this amazing film (Sayat Nova) which has been used to make the video for Juno Reactor's "god is god" with Natacha Atlas vocals.. check it!
[videos only viewable on the original post on my blog]

strange things I see when i take a nap

2006-12-01T15:28:00.000-08:00

some people have missed the train and they are mad about it. some people have a man's face when they are not a man. some people just eat hot pockets everyday and they are mad about it. some people are afraid of the gynocologist. oh people.. people who need people. sigh

ahwak

2006-11-27T23:29:00.000-08:00

a day out with the kids

2006-11-26T13:50:00.000-08:00

join the ROTC for the travel

2006-11-24T17:58:00.000-08:00

strange ROTC ad. I don't understand it.

the fountain

2006-11-24T12:25:00.000-08:00

I think I just saw the most beautiful movie ever made. The Fountain. I am not good with giving movie reviews, but I cam say that it is extremely well written, acted and the visuals and music are incredible.. and yes it totally made me cry. now trite, bitter, jaded people may not be so emotionally moved, so if you feel like your emotions are constantly supressed, then don't go. Those who want to see a well crafted movie and are not afraid to cry in public should give it a go.

I'm getting ready for Japan

2006-11-23T20:05:00.000-08:00

in preparation for going to japan soon.. I remembered the section in Sonar over the summer that was all about Japaneses DJs and artists.. here is one of my favorite dudes in that section.. I love the video art behind him.. I also (thanks to Youtube) added plenty of videos of my favorite sonar moments in the blog in June that I posted on my experience at the festival... happy Japaneses video!

music

2006-11-23T18:30:00.000-08:00

alright.. in the spirit of thanksgiving, I thought i should post some random music videos that I am thankful for:

AFX - This is absolutly brilliant (I LOVE!!! Chris Cunningham)

The cure

Portishead (I LOOOVVVVEEE)

slowdive

Nancy Ajram

My bloody valentine

Dirty Sanchez

Miss Kittin and Felix

Amr Diab

Natacha Atlas

Billy Corgan

I love humanists especially when they speak arabic

2006-11-23T16:42:00.000-08:00

This post contains a video, if you can't see it, you need to view the original post on my blog.

I'm saving myself an $80 application fee

2006-11-21T17:12:00.000-08:00

sunday night my ID didn't work at the gym so I went monday morning to get a new ID. when I was in the ID office there were two new MIT police officers getting their IDs. comolete with their uniforms, boots and guns they stood there clueless, one of them seemed so excited to have an ID that also says MIT on it, it was a strange sight. I was looking at them becasue the whole thing was taking long, and frankly I was so bothered by the sight of a fucking gun or two for that matter right infront of me. now I am not sure what goes into police training, or even worst, campus police training (something tells me if you go for campus police you are simply not even good enough to be an urban police person, meaning you are already sucking as to be part of a job known to be ruled by thugs and loosers and past high school drug dealers) anyway, one of them (for the lack of a better word) was such a pussy, he could not even make direct eye contact with me. its just rediculous. later that day Saima told me about the UCLA campus police incident and I finally watched the video.. I am angry. It reminded me of when we had cops with machine guns standing everywhere in NYC a couple of years ago, and how angry that made me. here some links and videos to spread the news on this incident. and I guess I am not sending my UCLA application, not that this can't happen anywhere, but I am ashamed that these fucking campus cops were not even put off the job until an investigation is done, they have been working their shifts since the incident. for this to happen right here in the middle of a library on a california campus and people are wondering why are so many people hating of american troops abroad.. well can't you imagine what they do there.. and only once in a while it gets so bad that people know about abu graib or random rape of 13 and 15 year old girls. everyone.. and I mean everyone in the military or police in this country is just as scum as the police in places like egypt except they are given the illusion of power, machine guns, tasers and a badge that gives them the security to fuck with who ever they want as long as no one is looking, but once in a while someone is looking (and thankfully has a video phone to record it)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mostafa_Tabatabainejad

عندما تحكمك الكلاب ...... فلا تشكو من ألم العض

2006-11-20T11:36:00.000-08:00

"أجلس مع الزملاء على المقهى معزيا نفسى على أنقضاء عيدا أخر و أنا وحيد

لأجد أحدهم يأتى يبلغنا بأندلاع الثورة قاصا علينا الاحداث الاولى لأندلاعها

نهب دافعين الحساب للحاق بركب الثورة حتى لا تفوتنا فنعض على النواجز

قائلين يا ريتنا كنا معاهم

ندخل شارع طلعت حرب و نلتحم بالجموع كلهم ممن طحنهم الفقر

و البطالة و أصبح لا سبيل لهم الا الثورة

وقفت منتظرا سماع خيوط الهتاف الجماهيرى

كى أنخرط مع الجموع هاتفا بسقوط نظام أكل الدهر عليه و شرب

لم أجد أبطال مناضلين محمولين على الاكتاف هاتفين بحب الوطن

بل مجموعة من الهايجيين جنسيا الخارجين من بوتقة الحرمان و الكبت

و الذين وجدوا صيدهم السهل وسط الزحام فأخذوا فى الهجوم بأعداد

غفيرة على كل من تحمل تأء التأنيث فى الشارع

مستعملين أسلحة الثورة من شتائم و سباب و أصابع

مهللين لكل قطة تقع فى مصيدتهم

مطاردينها حتى اخر قطرة

فإما الوقوع فى الارض و الاستسلام

وإما الهرب الى أحدى المحلات التى اصبحت كملاجىء القصف

مع هذا كله لا تستغرب أستنكار كبار السن لملابس البنات

و أنهم يا عينى هما اللى عملوا كدة فى الشباب ووصلوهم لكدة

او رمى اللوم على مصر اللى مابقاش فيها رجالة

و بيسيبوا بناتهم تخرج كدة

و لا تستنكر تخاذل الامن ووجود عدد لا يتعدى العشرة أفراد

فالثوار هذه المرة مطالبهم جنسية بحته

تحيه لأبطال الثورة الحقيقيون

الفقر

البطالة

العنوسة

الكبت

الحرمان

فأولائك الهايجون فى وسط البلد اليوم

ماهم إلا أدوات فى أيدى هؤلاء"

warm rainy nights

2006-11-16T21:12:00.000-08:00

aaahhhh, smoking with the window wide open and wind blowing in at 68 degrees on a november nights feels so good!! what is wrong with this weather! I just checked weather.com and its actually colder in Alexandria, Egypt right now than it is in Cambridge, MA! I have also gone back to listening to dublab which brings back memories of Newark. I miss them days.

the police

2006-11-14T12:02:00.000-08:00

I ran out of my building yesturday around 3:30 to catch the bus to the BAC.. there was a cop there directing traffic or watching over the construction on mass ave. He smiled at me, took off his gloves and shook my hand, his name was peter.. maybe paul, I can't remember. he kept looking at my feet and was getting really friendly. I just wanted to get to the BAC on time for my class. he asked me the weather forcast, made a comment on how cool he thinks my "look" is, asked if I live alone.... then the bus arrived.. just in time. not sure where that was going, but it made me smile for entire bus ride...

tragic error

2006-11-11T16:53:00.000-08:00

so fucking John Bolton (the UN rep for the USA, not michael Bolton, the even gayer 80s singer version of Kenny G who also resembles the christ figure found on little cards distributed by evangelical church-goers), he fucking vetoed a UN security council resolution condemning the random killing of 18 civilians in Gaza this week who happen to mostly be women and kids.

many countries see that what happened in Gaza this week was especially disturbing and a clear abuse of military power against civilians, however, fuckin Bolton, for some reason, doesn't agree, and for some reason has the power to veto everyone else.

O, I am sorry, (and I do love my jewish friends this has nothing to do with that, please spare me the typical dump american confusion between jewish and israeli military) but maybe with this kind of shit happening all the fucking time, a fucking missile landing in a fucking residential area near the border which just happens to be mostly inhabited by US citizens from Brooklyn (becuase they just had to go there and make the situation worst), maybe that is also a tragic error.

I don't understand how a planned military attack on apartment buildings, and the recent targeting of a daycare and small clinic (serving pregnent women), how is that a tragic fucking error you fucking michael bolton fuck, I fucking don't like you and what you represent.

I'm not angry, just like to sound tough. fuckers

in other news, what the fuck is up with these idiots.. hahaha, please check out their idiocy at http://www.godhatesfags.com/main/index.html
its classic.

I am thrilled to share this

2006-11-10T18:34:00.000-08:00

ok, this just cracks me up everytime.. I'm going to some gay harvard party tonight where nothing will be funny so I thought I should watch this first. I'll be laughing all night when I think of this and people will think their lame humor is whats making me laugh... hahaha fools.

my japanese friends

2006-11-10T14:49:00.000-08:00

my kifya

2006-11-10T14:02:00.001-08:00

I am wearing my kifya a lot again, and it is really interesting what it does. First of all, I love how it is finally worn in more numbers on American streets, of course only by punks and their likes because who else wouldn't mind being associated with Arabs or whatever the kifya represents. Second its even more interesting that urban outfitters is finally selling kifyas in its American stores, it has been selling them in London for a little while now... of course if you want a trendy kifya you get it from urban outfitters for $20 bucks, and you have the wide range of colors from green on gray to yellow on black and the classic red on white and black on white. third, I get the strangest variety of attention on the street, sometimes a random mid-aged woman would give me a sort of supportive smile, as if I am fighting a battle not just going to class, and sometimes I get a random white usually fat guy who shakes his head side to side in disapproval, as if wondering, how can we allow someone express Arabness so publicly, or, I can't believe how good looking that Arab guy is... whatever.. It’s just funny.
now, its interesting that some people would find it strange at all to wear a kifya in public, as if here in Cambridge, in a liberal environment, we can be friends with sort-of-Arabs and sort-of-Muslims as long as they keep it on the down low.. You know, I'll be your friend just don't rub your identity in my face so much. I just love how some people out there would only be friends with us if we have serious schizophrenia about who we are, some kind of repressed identity issues or my favorite, with major inferiority complexes (people from a couple of countries in the mid-east are known for their inferiority complexes, they are a bit north of cypress and a bit east of Lebanon).... so funny how some make a point to denounce any possibly assumed link they may have with something so controversial these days.. Say Islam, oooh the boogieman...

oh just in case, here are some more bloggers from Iraq expressing their utter happiness for killing Saddam:
http://neurotic-iraqi-wife.blogspot.com/ >>>>>>>> "I didn't want the death penalty. I wanted him to get life imprisonment and rot in a one metre by one metre cell.

I wanted his pride to be broken. I wanted him to live to the day were he will see a better Iraq. Whatever remaining years he had, I wanted him to live them in fear, in solitude, in despair..."

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/talking_point/6125608.stm >>>>>>>> "Saddam is nothing but a political card American politicians are playing against the American public.

And what exactly is his death going to do to improve Iraq or life in Iraq?

The sectarian tension or the security situation? The electricity or water? The curfews or the blocked streets? The puppet government or the dirty politicians? The loans of the billions stolen from Iraq as cash or oil since the invasion by Iraqi or Americans politicians?

Nothing at all."

I didn't say it.. she said it

2006-11-10T13:56:00.000-08:00

This is a woman blogging from Iraq >>>> http://riverbendblog.blogspot.com/

and this is what she says about the verdict on saddam. welcome the new and improved military state sponsored by the united states. Don't you love american freedom.

"When American troops are being killed by the dozen, when the country you are occupying is threatening to break up into smaller countries, when you have militias and death squads roaming the streets and you've put a group of Mullahs in power - execute the dictator.

Iraq saw demonstrations against and for the verdict. The pro-Saddam demonstrators were attacked by the Iraqi army.

This is how free our media is today: the channels that were showing the pro-Saddam demonstrations have been shut down. Iraqi security forces promptly raided them.

Welcome to the new Iraq.

The Zawra channel ran a subtitle saying that the channel has stopped broadcasting by order of the government.

It's not about the man - presidents come and go, governments come and go.

It's the frustration of feeling like the whole country and every single Iraqi inside and outside of Iraq is at the mercy of American politics."

save saddam

2006-11-08T14:03:00.000-08:00

I am so mad. 1. I lost my favorite lighter and my T-pass for the month. 2. this country is so fucked up.
I can't believe saddam hussein is getting executed!!! what the fuck will that do. give people closure? thats just for simpltons! people will shoot a couple of bullets in the air out of the illusion that there is a reason to celebrate then things will be just worst. he will be a hero, he will be on banners and tshirts. just watch. the death sentence is rediculous, I don't care who gets it and for doing what. people who still think the death sentence is ok are sad, desperate, scared, looking for a reason to satisfy a savage need within them to kill something, these are usually the people who wouldn't even step on a fucking bug. give me a break. others just think "oh yeah justice" like they are so fucking liberated and radical, "yea kill em man, I don't care, he deserves it." such bullshit, they can only say such crap from their hiding holes, their safe havens, from the place where they ran away from those who would kill them or harm them. its just repressed anger. maybe i am too liberal for liberals, I don;t even know what that means, but fuck this cliche bullshit, no one gets a death sentence in this fucking day and age. if you want punishment, you put someone in a fuckin prison cell to suffer, not kill them for ephemral celebration and then turn them into eternal heros for others. idiots. I am so mad!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love my friends

2006-10-23T22:02:00.000-07:00

My brother finally sent me these pictures, from before I left for my trip over the summer. I love real friends, I'm so lucky.

cock-rock-disco

2006-10-22T21:34:00.000-07:00

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I love my dad.. I only see him every once in a while but its always a nice reunion.. I never felt close to my dad when I was young because he was a little bit distant emotionally, and felt that taking us on vacation and buying us things was all he had to do to be a good dad, he was always a nice guy, with the ocational crazyness but everyone knows him as being honest, loud, funny, popular and a big spender... when we lived in egypt we didn't get much closer because everyone was doing their own thing, and I would just go out, take the train, walk around, do my thing completely free and maybe once in a while we would sit and eat together, everyone was totally independent.. but the frequent vacations would bring us together.. I started to get much closer to him when I went to college, I lived away and still independent, but I felt more connected with him when we would meet.. anyway, I guess I am just being sentimental because I had a nice day yesturday with my dad.. he was so happy that I was there to have iftar with thim and he later woke me up to have so7oor (meal before sunrise in ramadan) for the last day of fasting.. he made me fava beans, boiled eggs, cheese and yougurt and brought it to my bedside, he was so happy that I was there with him, that made me really happy too.<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

picture totally unrelated but I like it////////////////////////////////////////

2006-10-15T10:28:00.000-07:00

Schizophrenia isn't a real disease. Just a tool our society uses to deal with people who display socially unacceptable behavior-- that reminds me of how much I miss D.

Tomatina lost picture

2006-10-12T10:43:00.000-07:00

this is very funny.. this russian girl who took a picture of us at La Tomatina actually emailed it to me today. very random.

o this was right before I got a big pair of scissors, went on my knees and cut Erik and Ken's jeans into little shorts as people were gazing in homo-erotic awe.

computer cleaning

2006-10-10T23:14:00.000-07:00

party here party there

2006-10-05T14:56:00.000-07:00

sleep scientist

2006-10-05T14:08:00.000-07:00

everything will be the way you want it to be when you stop doubting that I love you.

forgetting

2006-10-01T20:42:00.000-07:00

Its been a month, its finally starting to sink in and the work and applications and projects and future travel are all pressing their weight on my shoulders...
although I have nothing to regret but last week I kept recalling some amazing people I spent time with this summer with home I had amazing human connections .. It was nice to meet these people and find them, I was lucky, but sometimes I was too happy about it that I didn't take advantage of other kinds of connections that we could have had.. I recall making out with a couple of guys with whome I could have probably had the most amazing fuck but instead I was like a happy little kid who didn't know what to do with all the attention.. I guess I regret not going with the flow sometimes and making things HOT.. if you know what I mean.

jajajaja. silly me.

it still happens, even here.

excitment

2006-09-24T21:16:00.000-07:00

yo! I can't stand my excitment and like the million thoughts and feelings going through me every second!!! this south east asia trip + japan coming up is gonna be craaaaaaazy!!! I gotta get so much shit done first and time is flying..
on another note.. ANDres appears to have another band back in Madrid.. I know the people involved and its hysterrrrical.. I love it. check out the pic.

I love beef

2006-09-24T13:08:00.000-07:00

go for it

2006-09-24T13:03:00.000-07:00

some people wait for things to fall into their lap, no initiative. when its in their lap, they don't know what to do with it, maybe it was too easy. get a little tough, then wait again .. what a waste waiting waiting. I never wait, or I try not to. I don't look back like I used it, and fuck i feel so much lighter in my heart. and I dont wait, don't worry too much about the future, things are really already set and will just happen, thats why they make sense when they actually do. so what are you waiting for?

ne la touche pas sal pute

2006-09-24T10:57:00.000-07:00

cambridge parties crack me up.
I left the first party with two hot iranians.. I would go for one of them. hot.

one more

2006-09-18T20:58:00.000-07:00

I am losing my mind

2006-09-18T20:51:00.000-07:00

I lost my all my computer files.. my memory is increasingly fucked up.. I forget easily... I lost or broke all my cameras.. party here party there... I can't find all my travel guide books.. I feel like some divine power is erasing my memory..

Andres.. guapo guapo guapo guapo.. I love him! and he actually loves me.. no need to fight or even ask for love, it just comes..

found objects

2006-09-07T19:36:00.000-07:00

postcard from Andres

2006-09-07T19:35:00.000-07:00

Heartbeats

2006-09-05T19:25:00.000-07:00

Andres

2006-09-05T19:15:00.000-07:00

my brown eye love. I miss Madrid..

my tree

2006-09-05T19:08:00.000-07:00

Tarek posted a thing on his blog http://wherethesuitcaseis.blogspot.com/ about "what tree did you fall from?" and I found out that I fell from a Cypress Tree (which is a tree I really like) and this was the description that went with it:

>>Cypress Tree (Faithfulness) -- strong, muscular, adaptable, takes what life has to give but doesn't necessarily like it, strives to be content, optimistic, wants to be financially independent, wants love and affection, hates loneliness, passionate lover which cannot be satisfied, faithful, quick-tempered at times, can be unruly and careless, loves to gain knowledge, needs to be needed.

I like it.

bad boys bad boys, watcha gonna do wen dey com fo you

2006-09-03T13:09:00.000-07:00

bad boys bad boys, watcha gonna do when they come fo you

2006-09-03T13:06:00.000-07:00

oh Madrid

2006-09-03T07:35:00.000-07:00

We could buy a house in Tuscany, cultivate grapes and then get drunk with our wine. I like it

in love with love

2006-09-01T20:54:00.000-07:00

its 5 am in london, we just got back from the ghetto, dancing one last time before I head to boring usa. still so much to say. I have no regrets, I dont hate anyone. I move on and take in whatever comes my way, like an empty bag in the wind. I'm still in love with love and no one else.

on fire

2006-08-31T02:49:00.000-07:00

perfect

2006-08-31T02:39:00.000-07:00

still full of love to give

2006-08-30T13:06:00.000-07:00

I´m not bitter.

typical spanish

2006-08-30T12:52:00.000-07:00

I have been recieving alot of love lately, mostly, for one exception that is just out of control of its own life. here are some quotes I heard in the past couple of days that stuck to my head:

"60 women and 2 men but they all deserved it..." - from a worthless piece of shit
" I want to be a tomato in your face!" - Andres
"I hear your heart singing..." - Andres with his head on my chest
"your sharing bunk bed with the hottest man in spain.." - some girl at my hostel room in valencia to her friend sleeping above me.

La Tomatina was a rediculous thing to be in.. as soon as Ken, Erik and I stepped out of the train in Buñol, a police man grabbed me by the arm and told me to stand aside. so strange. I was freaking out inside, I guess I do look like a terrorist with my very chic beard and intense eyes.
its 9 in the morning and we are drinking gigantic bears in the street with a bunch of screeming crazy mother fuckers, everyone dressed in almost nothing in preparation to get fucked up by tomatos, some people in customes, mostly men, about75-80% men, mostly between 20 and 29, it was fucking hot. I have never seen so much hot flesh in one spot, ragging gayness, rubbing touching , strangers ripping clothes off of each other, Erik was grabbed by 4 guys at one point all ripping a corner of his shirt. it was just so rediculous. I had no expectations but no idea its like that either, its probably the gayest thing I have ever experienced.. I have done a few gay things in my time. the steets completly packed with people, residents dumping buckets of water from above and then everyone has to squeeeze into the tiny side walks a few times in order to allow a big truck full of tomatinas to pass through with people inside throwing tomatos on the crowd, it was insane and messy and I love it. with the second canon shot, the throwing had to stop then we walked through the town, getting hosed down by random people making our way to the station with big beer stands and music, and thats where everyone was just getting naked, including myself.. whatever, I´m so coming back. I love spain

an old page

2006-08-30T12:35:00.000-07:00

I found a page that I wrote in my book a couple of weeks ago, I may not feel the same way now, but here is what it said.

I feel like I´m making a big mistake by not going to Pezenas to see Flipo. I am frozen, I can´t think, I can´t decide. Today I had a rush go through my body telling me to run to barcelona to meet David but I was hoping that when I would go get a ticket,, they would tell me that the trains are sold out, that way the decision to stay in france for another day to see Flipo would be already made for me... but there was a place on the train, so I went. it was too easy, which made it feel like I´m doing the wrong thing (later this probably proved to be the wrong thing to do)
When I met Flipo I recognized him and felt a strange connection, something david would laugh about with his closed head. I felt like I was expecting to meet him and he expecting my visit. Energy filled me up and I was full of positive, creative thoughts. I began to immagine that this man was going to change my life, but I wasn´t sure how¿
I was eager to return to his studio, but when I had the chance I didn´t, instead I followed my heart jto barcelona. I have been sad and lonely all weekend thinking of David, replaying in my mind all the moments, what seemed like pure clean love. I listened to billy corgan going on the morning after a day of hiking in the mountains and tears filled my eye. I saw beauty in everythihng my soul was overwhelmed with emotions and my sensetivity was hard to live with.
friday morning, the day of departure from the island, we had a rude awakening when Concordia people arrived to take all camp supplies including our matresses and to close the camp. all the desperate feelings and thoughts of the last few days finally evaporated as it was clear by now that it was over and too late for anything new to happen.

2006-08-29T15:53:00.000-07:00

Ken said "calatrava buildings are like aborted babies" which is so true, they all are destroyed and pretty bad shape before they are even finished.

valencia is a very nice town, a bit boring for my taste but pretty, the only thing happening right now are all the crazy australians and irish fucks drinking like a toilet and screeming non-sense. tomorrow is La Tomatina, the big tomato festival wrapping up my travels for the summer, I am going with ken and Erik, yay.

I have been thinking about andreas from Madrid alot today, he is incredible, we are so similar like in a way like we are the same person, it took a couple of hours to establish with him what took weeks with david.

Im going to bed to get ready for tomorrow tomato throwing¿¿

feeling hurt and very sick

2006-08-29T04:30:00.000-07:00

these are random things I have written down while on the bus or the train in the last couple of days since friday. they are out of order, sometimes make no sense, some lines from songs that I was listening to made it in there... I made a way too long of a journy out of the way from madrid to a village in the north of spain where I lost everything I thought I had, broke my own heart and got really sick. I went back to madrid to be in the company of someone who loves me and isnt afraid to show it, but that doesnt make me feel that much better, the only one who can cure your pain is the one who made you suffer.

I´ll never feel lonely like I did before. I thought I´ll always know that he´s there but I was wrong. I be as lonely as I ever felt and more.

he thinks one thing, and says the other. I want one thing but I am afraid to say it. Just like old friends, we can´t pretend that lovers make ammends, we are reason so unreal, I feel that something has been lost. he knows hes just like me, so far I still know who you are, but now I wonder who I was. we´ll always be good friends he said, I always was so free.
strangers when we meet, strangers on the street, lovers when we sleep. facing each other every night. when I closed my eyes I still saw his face looking at me.

he makes me miss him more than home.

he loves me more than this, and he can not resist, I love him for myself and no one else.
I always watched him more across the darkness in our room. so romantic, so tragic.

who am I to need you when I´m down, where are you when I need you around, all I ask you if for another chance, another way around you. who am I to ask you why, to tell you no, you were never meant to belong to me.

you are a ghost of my indecision

you + me, meant to be immutable, impossible, its destiny, pure lunacy, incalcuable, insuffrable, for the last time your everything that I want .. who wouldnt be the one you love, a pure sould and beautiful you. dont understand, dont feel me now, I will breath for the both of us.

Travel the world + traverse the skies, your home is here within my heart

how much I need and bleed for your every move, I´ll wrap a wire around your heart and you,re mind forever now.

in valencia hating boston

2006-08-29T04:24:00.000-07:00

I hate talking about what I do, or what school I go to or what I know how to do, its not important for me, its not really me, its what I have to do in order to afford the time and space to be closer to who I am. to runaway from the machines, misrable machines completey eaten up by standardized aleady defined life paths. to be this or to be that and make that much and eat at that resturant with the really sphisticated whatever and wear that skirt or that shirt not because they like it but because they think others will appreciate its price, so eaten up with the desire to be something totally self fabricated, reinventing their own history, telling people about their imagined past, their fine taste in cusine and fuck... its too much dealing with such constant presense of insecure people who think that being agressive, mean and an asshole means that they have a good grip on life, a good sense of who they are.. such delusion. there are the poorest people I encounter. I am not looking forward to going back to that.

mind body and heart are all destroyed - random notes

2006-08-29T04:15:00.000-07:00

I always have a place to stay, I only spent a few hours in Madrid basically only at Mel´s party and I already have met people who would have me stay with them. I dont know why, I dont want to take advantage of anyone but I know that its there. I feel lucky but maybe it pays when one is humble not afraid to share insecurities and be realistic, authentically romantic with no pretentions.

I met Mel in London on my first day of travel, she reminds me of why its so nice to just be, to not care about what I stand for , what school, how much, what name, all these things that people are dying to gain and advertise, like most people I met in Boston, sometimes there is just a human to human connection that is precious and clear of all that bullshit ....

In the ultimate excercise of vanity I fell in love with what I thought was a reflection. but I paid and swallowed every remaining bit of pride that I had. I should have never allowed him that deep inside.

bleeding

2006-08-25T01:24:00.000-07:00

I know im a little fucked up but I just wanted to say that I m so fucking happy and I love David so fucking much its rediculous.. I have b een looking for him all my life and we ended up on the island together and stayed together, it makes sense, I love him I want to cut open his heart and bleed my soul into him .
kisses

speeeeeeeeeeed

2006-08-25T01:18:00.000-07:00

its 10 am , I just got back from a party with david and diego, it was a drum and bass party, im fuyckigg on from all the speed I did tonight.. me and david had more bonding moment telling eachother how we cant live without the other.. I am so fucking happy..
the party was really cool, but too short as usual.. I fuckign love barcelona, I keep adding days to my stay here., I will be at the beach all day today and Ken and Erik from New york should arrive any time now, cant wait. kisses to all especially jack.

up date

2006-08-24T05:11:00.000-07:00

where to begin¿¿
its thursday morning, I am watching the simpsons in spanish, just finished eating a very stylish breakfast that I made for me David and Diego, the hash is pretty good, I got up at noon again, in my orange underwear on the floor next to David, I have been in paradise¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡
the last month has been overwhelmingly spiritual, emotional, life changing and I have found my twin soul.
after leaving france I took a 4 hour train from beziers to barcelona to meet David and hang out until he leaves go home up north. we were supposed to leave today but we got up too late and are staying another day. my first night back in barcelona I came to meet david at his friends place near the agbar tower and we met again after separating for the weekend after our island life ended. it was a much anticipated reunion since we have been attached at the hip for such a long time, three nights apart felt like eternity. the second night we went out for a drink with alberto and sandra, went to raval, the arab quarter in barcelona, had some really nice wine in a very hot little bar then went to meet a couple of guys who were selling us some chocolate, some burro! then we went to a street party near sans with very very cool people, that day I only had some tortilla for breakfast and nothing else after, maybe a banana, so after the wine, beer, mojito, some other brazilian drink, some local drink made of rum set on fire with lemons and something else, and smoking some very strong burro, I was totally powerless, david had lost all his inhibitions and started to flirt, I said "I need to sit" then my head hit the asphalt, I totally passed out in barcelona, again! I remember things blacking out then the music being muffuled then opening my eye to see some guy lifting my legs into the air to get my blood to my head, some girl putting ice on my head and david holing me up.. It was embarecing but to people here thats a sign that I am having too good of a time. anyway, we sat on the side and david was increasingly sexual, making me a bit uncomfortable, since I want to be all over him just not at that moment. we went home later around 4 and some interesting things happened.. blah blah..

I love barcelona. I just found out last night from this amature photographer dude that there was a big post sonar party on sunday after sonar ended with miss kitten and big names DJing on the beach..

last weekend after the island I went to meet armand and Yvon to go hiking in the mountains for the weekend, then we met some others.. we went by hitch hiking, my first time, its so normal here to do it, it was really interesting..
the first night after the island I was very down, out of energy and completly missing David. I love Yvon.. he is a very special guy. when we first met at the feria in beziers the week before, he looked at me, shook my hand and said "I recognize you", we talked and it felt like we already know each other.. hes a tough smart good looking tintin looking guy from britan in the north of france. we hitch hiked to a village at the bottom of the mountain then worked our way up for a 3.5 hour climb, half of which was under heavy rain. we reached our destination just before sunset. in the middle of the woods away from any road, there are the remains fo some almost ancient stone homes, at one of them is a group caming and another concordia group and that was our rest stop for the night. it was a crazy party in the middle of no where, some 40 odd people in the middle of the woods over a thousand meters above sea level with no lights but the stars, a stone oven where pizza is being made and served on flat slices of stone, drinks flowing, people kissing, music playing, fire burning, pictures taken, it was a very very very fun party. it was very cold later in the night and I didnt have a proper sleeping bag so I squeezed between two people to keep warm in the big tent that we had brought.
the next day we continued up to the peak then headed down for another 4 hour hike to find a special place to swim in the river. we met some other concordia people at the swiming area and spent some time there then I hitch hiked back with Leo and Matti, Leo is a very nice french 18 year old who was with the concordia group and we had met the week before.. Matti I just met there and hes a very very nice guy from prague.. we hitch hiked easy with no problem...
I left the next morning to go to beziers where I was to choose either to go back to pezenas and hang out with flipo or to go to barcelona to meet david. Yvon gave me his sweater, I love that guy. this summer I hung out and met so many people who are so close to my heart, free spirits, totally authentic unconcerned with..whatever..
I felt like I am making a big mistake not to go see flipo who offered me to stay at his renovated 17 century palazzo but I really really was missing david after that weekend at the mountains and decided to go to barcelona to see him.
listening to music that we both love is super emotional for me now, anything billy corgan specially later stuff gets my tears really going.
so much to say but I gotta go for now.. I still havent said a thing about the island. joder!

khawalat eh?

2006-07-26T12:25:00.000-07:00

I had such a good time in cairo that I am planning to go back for a month in the spring!! but oh my allah egypt is so gay!! from my siwan experiences to hearing stories from friends about falluca sex and fallucca 17 year old masterbating to orgies at the marriot and stories of military showers full of used condoms every morning left from the night before, oh my god this place is out of control.. also the exchange of eye contact is very intense with men on the street and how can I forget the security guy in siwa, the taxi driver in cairo and the waiter in alexandria all of whome made clear sexual offers to yours truely.. the best was on my night out with my cousin and friends in alex where hazem, one of the guys, was clearly in love with my cousin and I knew right away that he was a team player just by looking at him, we later bonded. even walking on the courniche in alex, especially on the bridge in stanley there was some serious cruising going on.
but the best was meeting jack.
I will be living on an island off cap d'agde in the south of france for three weeks starting on my birthday. no electricity, no running water, no internet and no disco.. just me and 11 others!! so exciting and hot oh I cant wait. here is a picture of my home for those three weeks. right now I am in Nice trying to get my life together before its too late. I just bought my third camera this summer.. I gotta go get a conference paper done.

guilty

2006-07-23T05:47:00.000-07:00

I have been feeling very guilty about alot of things lately. one: I didnt get anything done as far as collecting visual evidence for my thesis as I had promissed my advisor... I havent written the conference paper that I will be presenting in Thailand later this year which was due last week... I didnt visit my fathers family.. I am not sure what I actually did for the last two weeks. I also feel very guilty about partying too much which is very hard not to do in Egypt these days especially here in cairo.. its a bit strange to be smoking up hash, drinking endless bottles of stella, dancing in a zamalek apartment with other egyptians, americans and english friends and speaking with this tattooed lebanese guy half high about (kus um el arab) complaining about the bombing of beirut, cant help but feel guilty.
when I was in Siwa on my last day I met these two police guys, one was a handsome young mohamed who is being trained by this amazingly masculine big true egyptian named Youssef. I was very very turned on by captain youssef who was swimming in one of the siwa natural springs in his underwear and came out of the water .. couldnt help but stair at his wet underwear. o man. anyway, we had a great time talking about everything from politics to sexual adventures and how horny he is.. very interesting conversation! anyway, I felt really guilty to hear that a guy like him who is completly content with his situation, only makes about four hundred pounds a month!! which was what I spent in a day and half in Siwa! it just didnt make sense to me. ofcourse he was the usual happy egyptian making almost nothing but for me to even start speaking about how much I spend a day compared to how much he makes or anyone like him makes a month just makes me wanna .. well not do anything, I just feel guilty.

after coming back from siwa I went for two days with my cousin ahmad to his house and farmland outside of Tanta in the delta.. it was great to be in whatever is left of the egyptian countryside and meet his family from his father's side. I loved his father more than mine and i love him like my brother/lover..
I had so many great conversations with family members who are enjoying the simple life, planing their own everything in their own garden, eating together out of big plates.. it was great. but again I heard so many things that made me feel guilty.. guilty to be american, guilty to spend so much money, guilty about doing nothing to maintain egypts tresures...
one guy complained about farming in egypt today... it is a known fact that we now import wheat, which is a very sad fact, but I didnt know that we stupidly exported our high quality cotton seed so that the USA can grow egyptian cotton on its soil and therefore fuck up the cotton industry in egypt. I didnt know that we import seeds from the US which are only good for one planting meaning they dont produce fruit with new seeds which means we would be constantly dependant on importing US seeds...ofcourse we stupidly agreed to use US chemicals in farming which means the food here is begining to taste like nothing but look good just like in any american supermarket. this all sounded so sad coming from a man who grew up in the traditional farming environment and witnessing this huge transition and loss of our agricultural tradition. also more and more buildings are being built on precious farm land. I just feel guilty.

last night was henry's birthday so we had a party for him in Saima's apartment, it was all very sweet. I tried not to feel guilty.

* * * * * *

2006-07-19T18:40:00.000-07:00

siwa

2006-07-19T17:45:00.000-07:00

siwa is the kind of place so good I dont want anyone else to go there. I have never been to a place like it, the people are simple, honest, educated and gorgous. cars are not used much and so most transport is on foot, bike, motorbike or karetta (donkey driven cart) and of course 4by4 for desert trips. the Shali remains of the ancient city are surreal and are lit up in a dramatic way that makes the place a bit of a showpiece. local women are not seem much in public and are mostly covered up, which means the streets are full of siwan men strolling in their galabas and sandals sparking conversations with other locals and visitors. I was surprised to find that most siwans speak atleast one other language besides english, arabic and siwan, which is pretty impressive since most city people in egypt can only speak one language besides arabic. nature in siwa is raw, and untouched. they grow everything they need and they maintain their farms in traditional clean ways with non of this crap the US sends to egyptian farmers these days.

on the first morning after my hash and arak night, saima, nagine and I rented bikes and went around the town and to nearby sites such as the amun temple and the alexander tomb and the cleopatra spring pool. siwa is a hidden secret from most egyptians which is really good for me. but many europeans have homes and gardens here where they spend only days or a couple of months out of the year. I have seen in siwa some of the best contemporary vernacularish architecture in egypt. there was this french guy at the hotel resturant speaking with this puertorican woman and they had their own gorgous siwan guide (abdellah), after they left I asked their guide about the french guy who turned out to be the top guy at jean-paul gutier who comes here every 4-6 weeks to chill out and hang out with the locals!

there is also the eco-lodge, a hot hot secret built at the foot of a picturesque mountain on lake siwa, entirely built of palms and salt instead of glass, with no electricity and only candle light. its very exclusive and very organic. a night here costs $400 which includes horse riding, meals, drinks and some other secrets.. its pretty much a shag pad.

that afternoon the three of us joined an overnight safari excursion with two canadians, two french, two americans and another strange woman who looked like oliveoil from popeye. our guide mohamed was very cute, spoke 5 languages, is able to cook a full meal in the desert, belly dances very well and is only 22. then we had two drivers one of who I became friendly with later that night.

we started with a stop at a cold water spring in the middle of the desert after stopping to see the salt formation on lake siwa then we headed for the heart of the great sand sea. riding up and down the sand dunes some reaching over 60 meters was pretty amazing. we stopped a few times at various sites to roll down the dunes or pick up sea shells from a dried up ancient sea. at one point I sat on top of the jeep which was the best rush I have ever experienced. we finally went to sweet spot to watch the sunset and set up camp. the desert is one of the most beautiful places Ive seen, it was heaven with a cool breeze starting to roll with everysecond as the sun goes away. mohamed started to cook dinner using palm tree wood for fire, he cooked us rise, potatoes and veggies and some amazing grilled chicken. after the meal Osman the driver and I had been speaking about things.. I really liked him, it was a very honest and transparant conversation with topics ranging from life in siwa, to drinking arak and its effects with fucking to the types of people he encounters with his job. he also made me realize that I am not normal, he said that him and mohamed never met someone like me who acts like the forigners yet they know I am egyptian. he said that egyptians who come to siwa are full of themselves, misrable, iffy, elitists and are unwilling to really let go and enjoy themselves, rather he thinks they come because they can say "Ive been to siwa" so its a status thing or something. I was so happy to hear the nice things he said about me but I realized how I am really two different things that cant always be one. sometimes people here done know if they can respond to me as an egyptian or as an american which is very frustrating for me. I want to just be egyptian here but because of burecratic bullshit, the fact that I have a US passport and no Egyptian ID makes many people whome I want to be intimate with feel the need to be careful. I cant explain more.

we drank shots of arak, the traditional liquor and started smoking hash out of the Goza (bong made with a jar and a bamboo stick). I was so happy to see saima willing to take a taste of the hash, and the french couple smoked and drank with us too but the two canadians and two americans stayed on the otherside watching. it was great. the drum came out and we began to sing clap and dance. the night started to end and people started to sleep. I slept next to Osman the driver whose head was on my lap and we shared a cover. I really liked him, he was just a nice authentic human being with nothing to hide and no shame. too bad he had to take his wife and family to Matrouh the next morning to start their summer vacation.